Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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