did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
