Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
