maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
