please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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