If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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