just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
try to milk me bitch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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