normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
