The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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