you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize