Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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