After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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