If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
