Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
