how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize