Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
be right there i have to get my cape
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize