it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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