Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
