She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
