I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
