oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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