Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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