dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
where are my eyebrows?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize