An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize