so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
