He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
