Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
