Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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