Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
