I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
