thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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