take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
