I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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