I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
