One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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