Me too!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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