It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
