There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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