I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
