Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize