Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
