I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
