In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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