y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
