what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
