We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
