Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
