honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
