Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
