I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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