i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pants are for mortals
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
