you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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