I seem to have left my pride at pride
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
