i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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