Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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