Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
