Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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