just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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