girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
