Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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