Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
