Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
